jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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