also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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