Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
