So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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