I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
