yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
