haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
