Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
