did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
