How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
