u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
