I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can you bring me the toilet please
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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