Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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