Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
