Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
