Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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