Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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