Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
