i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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