So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
