She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
