Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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