Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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