So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You don't make any sense
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