Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
