So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
