What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
