Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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