Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
