White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
