I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
ok first of all what the fuck
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
