she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Vodka?
Forever.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
