last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize