i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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