Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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