I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
