His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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