My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize