if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
