I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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