oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
