Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I will pee on everything he values.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize