Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
