Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
