Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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