North Korea, Best Korea!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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