but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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