wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
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Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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