What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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