I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
