neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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