ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
