Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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