when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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