I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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