Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize