Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
