But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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