I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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