Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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