Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
