Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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