I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
