I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
