I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i already hear my dad disowning me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
