used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
