Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
